Monday, April 19, 2010

Weekend Update

After a long three days at work the weekend finally came. Boy, was I glad to not be at work. That hoe was really testing my patience!

Saturday was sick. Cruzed down to shell beach with some homies. It was beautiful, and even warmer than we expected! We smoked a bleez, drank some beers and finished off the day with a bbq in SLO. Man, I love the easy culture around here. I feel blessed to have friends with similar values!

On sunday I threw a doomer party. For those of you not familiar with westcoast slang, "doomers" is slang for magic mushrooms. We gobbled some and hiked through the oak grove in Los Osos. The canopy of oak trees provides a very majestic environment, perfect for communing with nature. We hiked around for a while and then went to the beach at Los Osos. Or, maybe it's montana de Oro. Anyway, we kicked it on the sandstone and tripped for a few hours. I had an awesome trip. Great collage like visuals with my eyes closed. I'm always amazed and amused by the mushroom experience.

Later in the day, after a nap, I met my Mom for dinner at her friends. My mom's friends bicker and bitch at eachother a lot. When they do, my Mom stares at me and smiles. It is kinda funny. Especially some of the shit the man says to his wife. He'll just rip her one, then she has the worst comebacks! Its pretty funny, but in all seriousness, these people need to grow up a little, don't ya think? Growing up, my parents never fought, and when I hear other couples do it I'm offended. Oh wellzers.

My weekend continues through tomorrow because I don't have to work! I can only work 35 hrs/wk and keep my SSI benefits, so that's what I'm going to do. I don't wanna work anymore than that anyway. This mourning, I woke up at my Mom's, had a lovely breakfast at Coco's, and then my dear mother took me shopping. I got some workboots, socks, chonies, and a pair of basketball shorts. It was definitely time for a little shopping, and I'm so glad my Mom took me! I know what some of you haters might be thinking... "um, Godsent, aren't you 24 years old? Should your mom really be buying you stuff?." I know, it's bad... but I've taken less than one of my five brothers, and I'm friggin' mentally ill. You try being normal when you've been idealizing suicide for over a decade... and believing your moses when you don't wanna end your own life. I'm tellin' you, it's ruff. All of you normies (normie: term mentally ill people use for people not afflicted with mental illness) should be thanking your lucky stars that you still have your sanity. I wish I had mine.

BTW, in case it's not obvious, I'm still absolutely pissed that I have to be mentally ill for the rest of my life. Honestly, I think I preferred denial, and if I could go back I would. Unfortunately, I've been forced forced to accept it. Gotta move forward now.

I just got off the phone with my brother. We had a long talk about goals, life-purpose, and happiness. He's pursuing his dream of being a professional comedian. He hopes to be living from his comedy earnings in three to four years. I'm stoked he's doing this. He is SOO FUNNY! I'm sure he's gonna make it. He goes out and performs every night in San Fran. He's been paid and headlined, and he's only been doing it for under a year. He's totally committed and super hard-working. As for me, I'm just a wannabe renegade guru. I have aspirations of becoming a monk, but am turned off by the required discipline and structure. Oh well, maybe someday. For now, I just wanna get rollin' in my van, chillin' in SF, and seeing my family more often. I'm only about a year away...

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