Thursday, December 6, 2012

Another Update for Nick Kump

I'm in my longest stretch of sanity I've had in half a decade. I'm getting straight up arrogant about my ability to relate to normal reality. Sanity is pretty sweet.

I still have moments of wanting to kill myself, and I'm still probably far from normal, but I'm much better than I've been.

I've also been seeing a drug counselor because I have some interest in sobriety. It's interesting, though I'm not really convinced about the views about addiction. I don't believe addiction is an illness. There's too much free will involved. I do believe that I have developed an unhealthy habit, and quitting is way harder than I imagined it would be. It may take some effort, and I may never get there, but I'm willing to give it 100% .....or at least 15%.

I'm obsessed with a few ideas I can't seem to shake. First off is the messiah campaign. I've decided I'm going to campaign to be the messiah because it's the only career path that really interests me. I have little regard for normalcy, I like to go big, and I want to do something original. Plus, believing I was the messiah was my favorite delusion. I can also see how this will set up fun things to do and interesting people to meet. I plan to have a website built explaining my foundation which is based on compassion and the freedom to form governments. I'm also planning on creating brochures and hand-delivering them door to door.

(knock knock)

Some dude opens his front door

Me: Good day, sir. My name is Akasha Godsent and I'm campaigning to be the messiah. Here's a brochure about my campaign. Thanks.

He's got to ask some questions at that point.

I plan on having a lot of fun doing this.

I've also been thinking about eating better and working out. I've gained 35 lbs since I started taking my antipsychotic medication 13 months ago. It's time to workout a little and plan healthy meals. It's simple, but I have a hard time doing anything. If I ever do get into shape, it will be a big accomplishment for me.

I think I may get more involved in blogging and write about the messiah campaign and little personal development things. I love the idea of being an open book and putting everything about myself up for the world to see.

That's all I got for now, Nick. Laterz, bra.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Hippies Suck, I'm Cool

So I checked out what seemed to be the coolest intentional community. It was totally gay. It totally seemed cultish and they follow this book called Autobiography of a Yogi which has tons of unbelievable stuff in it, like spiritual masters vanishing into thin air. I think I'm gonna have to create my own intentional community. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel or anything. It just seems that all of the intentional communities are too small (like, ten people in a house), or they're Christian, or dirty hippies growing their own food.

I can't tell you how lame it sounds to be poor, work your ass off farming, and then not be allowed to drink or blow a little chron.

I haven't found a community with an interesting business.

There's an old intentional community (like, from the 70s) in Virginia where the residents work 42 hours a week. Their room and board is taken care of and they get $75 a month.

How shitty does that sound? 42 fucking hours a week and $75 bucks a month for spending money? Needless to say, I won't be going to virginia to check it out.

I'm bewildered that there doesn't exist a community where the individuals operate a successful business, work little, and have money for cool clothes. All of the intentional communities I've seen show people dressed either bad, or just ok. Almost like they have a disdain for looking cool.

And the clothes aren't the worst part. The lack of vision is the worst part. Where is an intentional community that creates something profitable instead of one that's composed of hippies who's greatest desire is to grow their own food to be more at one with mother earth. I can't tell you how happy I am that there are people willing to farm for such little money.

And how come there isn't a community that's in the business of starting other communities. All of the intentional communities are there own little things; a group of people got together, decided they wanted to live together, then formed a community. There is no intentional community start up plan to follow. No business or charity developed to help groups of people establish a community. This is disappointing, but maybe my intentional community can be the first to help others start communities.

I'd love to have a community that produced it's own reality show. I could call it, The Realer Real World and instead of getting drunk and fucking in a hot tub it could show real people and the real problems they face when establishing and maintaining a community.

On an unrelated note, I haven't done anything for my pencil business except find out how much it will cost to get going. I think it will be about $400 in licenses and product before I can sell a pencil. I'm also considering how I'm going to sell the pencils (online, door to door, or in businesses) and what I need to do to let individuals know its a legitmate business and they're not getting ripped off. I'm sure it'll come together.

So, I've got my pencil-business dream, my intentional community dream and two other interests. The first is music, I began my own curriculum about six months ago and am happy with my progress. I'm learning fundamentals of music theory and a little guitar and piano technique. I've also been making beats on garageband. It can be a little tedious, but the end result is very cool. It feels good to go from no understanding of music to creating something that is pleasant and interesting. I've also been studying the art and craft of screenwriting. I sat down to write a pilot a few weeks ago and realized i knew nothing about how to get started/wtf I was doing. So I'm 2/3 of the way through my first screenwriting book and I'm beginning to grasp the fundamentals. Some things I found interesting were that conflict must be throughout the film and resolution only at the end, sex and violence are almost always interesting for audiences and has been a major theme in drama since it's beginnings, and that all action and dialogue must either advance the character, or the story. I love seeing things in film that I learned from my book. It makes the movie experience much less mystifying.

That's it, hope you liked it, Nick.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Update for Nick Kump

Haven't posted in a while. I've been medicated since October, and i was too scared to see all the psycho stuff I've posted. Sure, i could delete it and save it, but I'd rather keep my blog 100% honest. Now for the update.

I've never been better. My meds are working well, I attend a mentally ill support group everyday (we have talks and go on little outings), and, as  result of not being psychotic, I've gotten my game back. For real, this is (unfortunately) the best I've been in years. I've made great progress in accepting my mental illness and having the group to relate to has accelerated my recovery.

Should be all downhill from here.

I'm interested in a couple things right now. #1 is a business I wanna start and #2 is an intentional community in Mountain View. The business idea may never materialize, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna check out this intentional community. I've been interested in living in community for years, and the one I'm gonna visit is by far the coolest seeming one I've come across, and I've looked at hundreds online.

Man, that was a pretty dry post, but I guess that's what its like being sane. Enjoy, Nick.