Sunday, January 16, 2011

I'm back!!!

My social life has improved drastically in SLO and I'm enjoying my time possibly more than ever. I'm having more fun than I had in college, that's for sure. I'm really getting use to being poor and connecting with some people who don't work. I love people who don't work! I also had a group of four friends move into SLO and that's helped too.

I've also been writing rhymes. It's hard for me to put into words how much I like writing raps, but it's something like this

I like to write raps, seriously, a lot
I drift and sift through images, feelings, and thoughts
Burnin pot like its a job
I'm far from a slob
Connect the dots, kid
Renegade heart throb

I've been thinking I'd start massaging again, but I don't really feel like it. My ability to force myself to do something I don't want to do has been eradicated from my being, and my sense of uncomfortable obligations rests at an all time low. The hardest thing for me is the lack of culture centered on enlightenment. All we have is music, drugs, and outdated wisdom traditions. Where am i going with this? I'm rambling...

What I'm getting at is that my life has gotten better. My game is even coming back. Growing in self acceptance... which reminds me, I've been doing a much better job of not feeling like a drain on society for my position. This really bothered me at first, but now I'm starting to cultivate poor person pride. It helps a lot. I use to believe I had to be hard on myself b/c I had to be honest about how things are (thanks, Pop), but then I realized that projecting anger and hatred onto yourself isn't the way to roll, regardless of how logical it seems. I'm tryin' to love being me, but it still takes a lot of effort. Still, I'm seriously motivated cuz I don't want to go back to thinking about suicide. That shit fucking sucks and I've done enough of it.

1 comment:

  1. 'Bout Damn Time. I thought I might never hear the wisdom of Akasha Godsent again. Glad you are back on the scene, hopefully you don't go three months between blog posts again. Stay Fresh.